At night when I finally go to bed I have all these great ideas running inside my head of how productive I will be the next day! I visualise these images and I do get excited about the prospect of a new morning, a new day! My very busy imaginary life. Than I finally fall asleep, and just as I get comfortable, at 2am the boys wake up! Getting up to attend to them takes thirty minutes, not that long, but falling back to sleep is a struggle! Now I’m lying here again with my head filled with things I should do to feel motivated.

I love staying home with the boys but at times I find myself at loose ends. Where I feel the need to go back to work but than again I will feel miserable at work especially when it’s not busy thinking of my babies at home!

Im not sure if some of you felt like this. I was totally dedicated to the boys when they were younger but as they are growing up, I feel the need to stimulate my brain again. Have conversations with grown ups! Be busy with my hands and have something else to talk to my husband about other than how many times the boys have pooped that day. I do feel guilty at times because being a mom is very rewarding!

I am a professional hairstylist so a freelance/mobile hair salon seems the way to go forward. I can work my schedule around my children and their needs. Fulfilling my need for working again and also to be available for my boys when they need me. So I have this plan all worked out in my head, but come morning the daily routines and a great Netflix collection seems to keep my ass right inside the house!

What happened with my pep talk to myself! Feeling like a looser at times for not having the motivation to grab the bull my its horns! Go go out at seize your opportunities!

I am to hard on myself! Maybe? My twins are only eight months! Starting to crawl, curious, active and putting everything in their mouths, reaching out to touch potentially dangerous objects! Seeing their progress and milestones is the best part of parenthood. This does motivate my to be a better mother. An attentive mom, to protect and slowly educate my babies.

Maybe not tomorrow but Jacqui will get her groove back. When my PJ are not so comfortable during the day. When the tiredness of night duties get less. When I can have a shower at eight in the morning instead of sometimes ten minutes before my husband gets home from work. Soon the heart,body and soul will be ready to put all my ideas into opportunities.


Jacqui 💕

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