There is going to be no one else that is going to look after your babies like you do! YES, not even your husband. I know I am with these babies everyday, from morning until he gets home. I know every small detail of their behavior; I know what they need before they even start crying.
This dependent relationship can become a selfish one, one where ultimately you are going to be the only one taking care of these children. It can become a vicious cycle of fatigue, resentment, frustration or even depression. Remember hubby played a 100% role in creating these precious creatures. So if he wants to look after his children, then allow him! Let him change the nappy, the way he feels comfortable doing it, if you think he is doing it wrong than walk away, if you can not watch. Once your start criticizing and judging he is going to retreat in doing anything because he is already in the wrong. Dad’s these days do play a much more active roll in the upbringing, discipline and entertainment with their children.
I remember many, many years ago my Mom taking care of the house, children, shopping and even my dad’s paycheck without a flinch! It was normal, everyone then just knew that was how things work. I do not know how she handled four children, but I do remember we never went to the mall all together! Complete chaos!!! Give my Dad his due his started changing his grandchildren’s nappies.
Graham is a very hand’s on dad, so I can go out and get my hair done and not worry about him dropping the boys. Sometimes these twin boys can become overwhelming and a total handful, where I can feel my frustration starting from my toes working it’s way
Than I need to distance myself, even if I just read one page of my novel. I allow myself my guilt free me time away from them, I recuperate and come back home feeling refreshed and ready to be a mom again.
We are very fortunate that in Hong Kong we can get hired help, these ladies make a huge difference in a lot of families lives. Leaving their own families in the Philippines, Sri Lanka, Indonesia to come and help take care of ours. Our helper is highly appreciated and the boys loves her and she definitely love my babies too. As a stay in helper Thess has become part of our family. To have a stranger moving into your house it start of with mutual respect, compromise and getting to know each other along the way.
We are SUPERMOM’S but even those blessed with multi tasking, unconditional love and Job’s patience needs help. If someone offer, PLEASE SAY YES, take your bag and run for the door! You will be doing you and your family a favour