The debate that either sides will always dispute. If you work full time does that mean you love your children less or staying at home you must have all the time in the world? For both sides as mothers we know how difficult, busy and chaotic it can be to raise children. There is no right or wrong way how anyone choose to raise their children! As woman we are already fighting for equality in male dominating careers. No matter what your choices having support for our fellow mothers would definitely makes things easier.
I have full time working moms friends, although they love their children, they love their work and careers as well. Speaking to a mom, currently pregnant with a one year old baby she said being away from her baby allows her to be a better mother, and to be a rolemodel to her daughter. Time apart allows her to gain perspective. Spending most of her young adult life to gain professional qualifications and experience would be hard on anyone to give it all up! Yes definitely if you are the mom that would like to work. Working is rewarding, stimulating but every opportunity she get, her time is devoted to her baby and husband. That does not make her family less important? Definitely NOT!!
*Jane is a stay at home taking care of her almost one year old son. She gets to enjoy all the new milestones and be there unconditionally but the downside of having no adult interaction for days can be daunting. She knows her son best as she spend 24/7 with him, she knows his mind and prides herself in making him feel secure. She feels being at home give her better understanding any medical needs he might have. “Sometimes working mom’s does not know their baby well as they spend less time with their children and tend to depend more on doctors. Sometimes it’s not necessary to see the Dr first and giving medicine hastily.” Being a full time mom is hard work and allowing herself time to relax and take “me time” makes makes all the difference.
No mom needs to get judged as to whether she stays at home or to go back to work. Both sides sometimes feel guilty at times, not being their for their kids school recital; or for not contributing financially to the household. We feel guilty for what you know is right for your situation for your family.
Honestly for most of us you don’t really know what kind of mother you will be until you are knee deep in it!
I am a hairstylist and not so long ago I had the same inner debate with myselfgetting-motivated-as-a-stay-at-home-mom. Do I go back to work or stay at home? With twins and the future education and all general expenses we definitely can use a second income. I work part-time, being a freelance hairdresser I get time away from the boys and to interact with my clients or friends but I also have time to be around when they need me. It is great, but it does not give me financial freedom, although I have the opportunity and the freedom to work around my children. For each scenario there will be an advantage and a disadvantage. No clear cut solution, the only thing that will make it work is your attitude.
Most of us worked before we became mothers, we were professionally, financially and socially independent. I remember a couple of years back when I sold my salon to move to a different country with my than fiancé, I felt overwhelmed to be completely dependent on him. To ask for money for things that you need can be depressing.
I started working once we settled down and we did have the talk about our finances and I felt secure and relaxed after. Being a mother now I feel the need to be here for my children but to also in my own small way contribute financially to my household.
We have one common aim to love and care for our children. A lot of times Moms do not have the choice for the situation they are in. We do not know their circumstances! BE KIND! DON’T Judge!